Thursday, December 18, 2008
Here is the "Official" Christmas card.
I promise I will rest before I attempt to take a good family picture next time.
I promise I will maybe get a professional photographer next year, no offense NIKON.
I promise to have the entire family in the picture next year. (Bridger thought it would have been a better picture if Brandon would have been in it. What am I? Chopped liver? UGHHH KIDS!!!)
Anyway, If you don't receive a Christmas card from our family consider this yours. I have been driving around the valley at night looking at the lights. With gas so cheap I feel like I am getting paid to look at the lights. And I found out that if I stop and buy my kids a treat before we go then I can look longer. Bridger claims they are boring and if you've seen one you've seen them all. HE IS SO MY DAD!! 8 YEAR OLD FOR SALE!! I hope you are enjoying the season as much as we are.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
So I got them into their PJ's and sat them in front of their Christmas trees and let my Nikon take over. I was quite pleased that of the 24 pictures I took, 3 turned out card worthy. I am now going to treat you to a little glimpse of the cards that for 1 reason or another did not make the cut this season.
Bridger kept asking me if we were done yet...NO NO AND NO! Now look happy and smile! Then he starts telling me about the "chicken man" at his school and he lets them do a funny face, why can't we do a funny face? Please Mom!
I have nothing to say about Brandon's son in this picture.Brody is crawling away, he thinks this whole picture thing is a joke.
Oh, this picture is it! This is the Christmas card for 2008! Wait, where is the Prince? How come nobody is holding the baby? Remember this is a FAMILY PICTURE!! Oh, we could have been done.
Why is everyone smiling so big and the baby is crying like a baby? the Prince was so done it was beyond funny. I know that your dying to know what the finalist looks like. Well, stay tuned. I will post the finished product later.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
2006 coke a cola
2002 coke a cola
2001 food...you get the idea.
While I haven't broken the cycle on the past addictions, I am getting dare I say better at SS (code for spider solitaire while the kids are at home) and am sure I can quite anytime, just look at me record with the past addictions! My top score is 119. My average is @ 128 and yes, we do keep a paper and pen next to the computer to record our scores. I know those do not sound like impressive numbers but give it a whirl. You have to set it on medium level and then just sit back and forget all your worries, unless you totally suck at the game then I suggest you set it on easy.
When we weren't playing the game we were having a great November. We had a fabulous fabulous Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunts house, I made the best yams in the entire world thanks to my friend M! We got all of the Christmas decorations put up, I managed to go out with my sisters on Black Friday and because I wasn't shopping for anything in particular I was designated driver so the sisters that had shopped could look at all their "loot" while I drove us onto the next store. GOOD TIMES!
While I am sure I am the only blogger that hasn't seen the twilight movie yet, I did get a picture of a vampire...
We dressed the Prince up for my sisters Halloween party and I can announce that he won best costume and bushiest eyebrows awards. Here is another picture 1 month late: the kids Halloween picture before trick or treating... So from this day forward, I will make a solid vow not to take 1 month off of blogging again. maybe 3 1/2 weeks, but not 1 month.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
When you get her the plantation shutters she'll probably ask for wood flooring in the dining room.
When that's finished she'll ask for a new kitchen table and chairs,
then she'll want to look in the kitchen and make sure that doesn't look like crap.
When she looks in the kitchen she'll notice it does look crappy
She's going to need that redone.
she'll then notice she needs an attached garage off the kitchen.
So she'll probably ask for an attached garage.
When your finished with the attached garage she'll want a new car to go in the garage.
when that's done she'll want to take the new car on a ride.
you'll have to pack the kids and go over night somewhere.
when she's sitting at the nice hotel pool she'll remember she's had 4 kids and she'll need a tummy tuck and a front end alignment
After the body ramifications she'll need to shop for new clothes
While shopping she will also have to buy you new clothes
while putting her new clothes away she think she needs a bigger closet
After you build her a bigger closet she'll want a master bathroom
when she's in the master bathtub she'll need a nanny to watch the 4 kids
while the nanny is with the 4 kids she'll want to get a job.
when she gets home from the job and walks into the front room she'll see the carpet and remember that she needs new carpet.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
My carpet was so hellicious (the exact opposite of delicious). It was flesh colored, middle of February flesh colored to make it even worse.
Well, 8 years and 4 kids later my living room, where no kidding, we live, was DISGUSTING. So when Brandon agreed that the Prince could not possibly learn to crawl on such filth, we sprang for some new carpet. While at the carpet store I had but 2 requests, 1-Make sure that the carpet was the color of spilt coca cola and 2- look and feel luxurious without spending the kids college fund.
Mission accomplished. The carpet was installed and looks great. While the spilled coke has not been tested, the look and feel is definitely luxurious.
So if you come to my house for a visit, I will no longer meet you outside on my porch, I will invite you in and let you check out my new carpet, I may even let you take your shoes off and walk on it. Pictures coming soon
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
This is what he got...
Am I the best mom ever? Bronson wanted a John Deere riding lawnmower and a big barn, a real barn to park the lawn mower in. I let him have a nice long bubble bath. He quickly forgot all about the lawnmower and barn as soon as the bubbles started and he was busy washing the boats. You know the boats that stay in the tub, he is positive they are always dirty. I gave him a rag and he washed both boats for about 50 minutes. It was the best birthday bath ever! Before you call, we did go to Chuck E Cheese and I made cupcakes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY "Wild Mike" (from the movie Barnyard) he gave himself this nickname and it was pretty much dead on WE LOVE YOU!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Boy how time flies. 12 years later and I am more in love today than on the day we were married. I wouldn't change a thing.
I LOVE YOU BRANDON RHOADES!
On a side note, what I wouldn't give to fit into those jeans today. The hair, true Lehi hair, how I miss it. About Brandon's mustache, it was 1996, everyone had a mustache in 1996. I still love the matching shirts, just ask my boys (it is in case someone gets kidnapped, we can tell the police "they look just like this only smaller/bigger or in this great picture male/female")
So, here's to 12 more great years. 2020! In 2020, we won't have to take the kids with us to JCW's for our very romantic anniversary dinner. Our daughter will be a senior in high school, Bridger better be at college, Bronson will still be entertaining us with his "Wild Mike" impersonations and getting ready to get his drivers license and the Prince will be 12!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BRANDON! ( so if you see us today and we are smiling it is because we are so so in love, or I just made a really funny joke, either one)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
1o years ago I...
1-Just closed down the 3 Sno Shacks I bought and operated that summer
2-Was driving a 68 Chevy longhorn truck (Brandon convinced me it was a classic)
3-Was celebrating my 2 year wedding anniversary
4-Thought I knew everything.....HA!
5-Cutting hair at Fantastic Sam's, my favorite job no really,I loved it
5 things on my "to do" list today...
1-can peaches, SO SO DOMESTICATED!
2-Go to bank.
3-laundry, wash, dry, and here's the deal breaker...PUT IT AWAY!
5-GO TO BUNCO
(I kept my day pretty carefree so that I could save my energy for BUNCO, don't be a hater)
5 Snacks that I enjoy...
1-mini vanilla wafers, the colored ones
4-popcorn from the movie theatre with extra grease, ERRR I mean butter
5-chocolate covered tootsie rolls
5 things I would do if I were a millionaire...
1-build a new house
2-have my car professionally detailed
3-save for the kids college
5-buy my husband a farm
5 places I have lived...
1-Pleasant Grove, Ut
2-American Fork, Ut
5 jobs I have had...
3-Utah Truck Systems
Rules: Each player answers the question themselves. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment letting them know that they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person that tagged you know when you've answered the questions on your blog.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Then we get the mail. I should have been sitting down, it was from Brandon's side of the family. His aunt and uncle are actually very very nice. Their kids are weirdos all 14 of them Crazy Crazy Crazy. Anywho, the invite is homemade. It is really cute, I am not into this kind of stuff, but with 14 kids I am sure that you have to get creative (mac and cheese w/lil smokies creative) Here is the outside:
Then you open it up. still looks okay,The soon to be bride looks great, she is smiling, she is kind of doing the choke hold, I am not really a fan of this pose(it was the same pose I had to do during the ceremony part of our wedding, talk about a forearm bruiser). The address and registry card is over the grooms face...For a reason:
Then you MOVE the registry/address card. I did a little full body shudder when I seen the picture (I am a big body so you can imagine the full body shudder!), Go ahead, do a little shudder yourself, I'll wait.
The first thing I thought was, "I didn't know that she did an intern with the carnival this summer", or "there really is a Wolf man" A sister that looked at this thought that he may be practicing for the part of Frankenstein at the "Special" school where he attends.
Picture aside, they are registered at Smith and Edwards (the country boy store and so much more) and Wal Mart (I shouldn't have to explain this one). I was a little mortified that they were announcing both these registries until Brandon told me that if we lived up north and were getting married that he would probably be registered at Smith and Edwards also. This is a whole other post in itself. The apple does not fall far from the tree.
DISCLAIMER: I am sure that he is a very nice person, (when he is working at the carni, or has had his medicine or there is not a full moon) and I wish them all the happiness in the world. I guess I am now off to the devils warehouse to get the new couple a gift card. I am sure that if we lived up north I would be going to the "country boys store" I am really so lucky.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Bridger has a new "fresh" 22 year old teacher so when she sent home the wish list of school supplies she needed I just assumed that she was a super awesome teacher that uses a glue gun with 25 kids hanging off her. Even while we were at the Devils Warehouse Bridger kept saying "Mom, I need some glue sticks" I kept replying "I know, I know stop telling me what to get." It was not until 4:45 in the morning that I woke up and thought "What the crap is a 2nd grade teacher needing all the glue sticks (for a glue gun) for? Then it hit me like a ton of glue sticks...SHE DOESN'T BRAINIACK!
When I explained to the lady back at Devils Warehouse, why I was returning them, she even said "Why would a teacher be using a glue gun around the little kids?" That lady is smart I thought, thus the prestigious job at Devils Warehouse returning crap from moms whose brains are so fried they can't think straight.
Stay tuned...FREAKIEST WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE SUMMER COMING SOON!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
"Oh that little terd! (this is Brandon's pet nickname for Shawn Johnson, his favorite gymnast) She finally won a gold medal! I just knew that she would. I bet if the Chinese weren't cheating and their gymnasts weren't 9 she would have won all gold! GO LITTLE TERD!
Men's 4x4 medley: "HURRY!HURRY! HURRY! They are hardly even trying, They better not loose and make USA look bad, If Australia wins, I may have to boycott the OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE until after the OLYMPICS... GO USA! For the love of the bloomin onion, GO USA!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The cast of
3 kids that rhyme with shmitty.
1 husband, Playing the part of the HERO
1 haggy housewife, playing the part of the haggy housewife
1 blue ball.
1 2x12 board with a stinkin sharp knife taped to the end
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
What did I, mother of the year do for 4 days? I ATE, I ATE ALOT! I pretty much woke up and had a small bowl of cereal, not wanting to waste calories on breakfast and lunch, I ate sparingly for the daylight hours, so that I could eat at breakneck speeds from 6p.m.-till I fell asleep out of dutch oven food exhaustion. We ate alot of dutch oven cooking, actually I got all the ingredients put together and bossed Brandon around the campfire, telling him how to cook said dutch oven meals (I really don't like to smell like camp fire, so I only get close while A-roasting marshmallows or B-throwing a dirty plate into the fire, like chuckarama, you need to get a clean plate between helpings). I know that you want pictures, and here is the 1 and only 1 picture that we took the entire "memory making" weekend...
It is a picture of a relatives headstone that we may or may not be related to. Brandon has been wanting to check out the Fruitland cemetery, a very happening place by the way, and look for this headstone of this person that he thinks may be a relative. (A genealogy thing, I'll never understand.) As we pulled into the tiny cemetery, pulling our 5th wheel if you can imagine,
Brandon says "get the camera I want to take a picture of this headstone if I find it"
I reply, "No, you can't because I was to lazy to get the camera out of my purse and take pictures the entire camping trip and I don't want this to come back and haunt me."
He says "It will only haunt you if this headstone is the one that I really need and I don't get all the information right."
So I say," Okay, but maybe take a picture of the 3 stinky ornery, buggery kids running around this blankety blank cemetery."
He just laughs, I go back to reading my book...(The Choice by Nicholas Sparks and by the way it was really good) and after about 5 minutes everyone is piled back into the truck and we are going down the road,
I ask "did you get any pictures of the kids?"
He says "No, they were running around and I didn't want them in the picture with the headstone of the guy we may or may not be related to"
I say, "Great, we might as well have stayed home, now I feel guilty because I didn't get any pictures of the great weekend" (great because we are on our way home, it is like one of those trips that you don't realize is great until you are home, and then it gets better as the days go by and you realize your normal life is dull and the camping trip was super fabulous!)
So long story short, don't mention around us that your family is going camping for a long weekend (we may get ourselves invited, or you may feel compelled to invite us) and don't ask me to scrapbook anything that had to do with the 24th of July weekend, unless you want to see a headstone of the relative that Brandon may or may not be related to.
Keep your dutch ovens greased, Doreen.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
So I was checking out people I want to know better (BLOG STALKING) and I noticed almost everyone has a ticker or a countdown to something great happening in their life. I even have a "back to school" countdown, so I am guilty of the countdown frenzy.
One ticker that I came across was quite terrifying...A NURSING TICKER. Apparently people want other people to know that they are breastfeeding and bragging about how long they can keep up the feeding frenzy ( I am not bitter about all you great nursing moms I'm not). I saw this and was a little taken back. Maybe it is because I will never win the award for "best breastfeeding mom of 2008", so I found this said ticker a little crazy/gross. It just struck me that you shouldn't have to announce how your feeding a baby if their oh, I don't know, under 6 months. Most babies have to eat, and most moms breastfeed or give a baby a bottle so take note...YOU SO NOT HAVE TO ANNOUNCE THIS!! I have never read an obituary (and I read them all) that said "baby starved right to death". It is just a given that if you have a baby your feeding them something.
To illustrate how this works I have added a breastfeeding ticker, (FYI I am done nursing, this is just for your enjoyment I swear, and I want to feel like a cool mom.) I also love the picture...Both mom and dad are not wearing a shirt, does dad just want to feel as agitated and frustrated as the mom that can't nurse with her shirt on, or with out 23 pillows surrounding her, or without the tv remote, the phone, a 59oz glass of water and 2 or 3 magazines strategically placed around her while she feeds her baby in the most relaxing and natural way there is? I am still not bitter, I LOVE YOU ENFAMIL and AVENT. p.s The prince now weighs 16 lbs. So literally "suck that" breastfeeding warriors. I am still not bitter, breastfeeding is just not for everyone. (at least that's what my husband keeps telling me)
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
- If you think your drowning CALM DOWN AND STAND UP! the water level is about 2 feet and since none of my children are vertically impaired this is not a problem. The problem is when they are playing and "forget" that they are in the ditch and start "floundering" around and get all freaky and think they are drowning. There is no life guard, unless you count the guy we take the water from and he doesn't give a crap what the kids are doing as long as it is not on his water turn.
- Wear shoes, unlike most public pools where they are all about the no shoes in the pool, I prefer my kids to have their shoes on, it is very embarrassing to explain to insta care that your child has a cut foot because they were chasing a stick down the ditch and cut their foot. It is also fun to take off your shoe and watch it float down to a sibling, this is hard to do if your shoes are in the house. So for the love and the $10 co-pay, wear shoes.
- Wear a swimsuit or not, I don't really care. Again, this is where the public pool and I are different. Wearing a swimsuit at the pool is fun,but at the ditch it is just one more thing for a mom to wash, and I am really not a washing/drying type of mom in the summer. Swimming in your clothes in the ditch is like a "wash" and playing OUTSIDE until you dry is like a "dry", making just 1 less thing for me to do. As you can see in the picture, Oakley is in her swimsuit, and that is because she is in a "mermaid" phase and really thinks that she is a mermaid while she is wearing a swimsuit. Thanks TV show H2o Just add Water!
- Bring your bikes, Bring your dump trucks, just don't bring your littlest pet shops or Polly pockets, they will float away. The public pool frowns on boys bikes IN THE POOL. But not here, this is a bike wash, and a cool refreshing swim all in one. Dump trucks are also allowed, just make sure they get put away so I don't run the darn thing over while backing out of the driveway.
- There is no wait 30 minutes to swim rule. As soon as the water is turned down the ditch it is everyman for himself, just get out there kids. Imagine me in my Drill Sargent Voice..."Move it Move it Move it...", the Drill Sargent voice that I use at home, not the one that I use in the Primary at church, totally different tones.
- If you have diarrhea, feel free to swim...DOWNSTREAM key word here is downstream. I will not be going into more detail on this, it is common sense.
- Do not drink the water! Any questions see the rule above. We are at the bottom end of the irrigation ditch's and you never know, some mother may be changing her babies diaper on a ditch bank UPSTREAM. Totally Gross.
- If it is not Tuesday, WE ARE NOT IRRIGATING! Ask my 7 year old with the hideous scar (didn't want to explain to insta care) from pulling the head gate up his leg while trying to steal water ON A THURSDAY! I told him that is Karma working for ya, it is illegal to steal water, he is just lucky he wasn't shot by the guy who's turn is on Thursday.
So, if you are driving by and see us playing in the ditch, Do Not Call DCFS. They are aware that we still play in the ditch even though the year is not 1984. (Thanks for the call of concern) Feel free to find some cut offs or a string bikini thong (both not allowed at the public pool) and join us.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
So, I have really done it, I joined the "ELITE" biking culture. "ELITE" biking culture you say? What's that? I may need to join such "ELITE" group. No, believe me, it is not that prestigious as I a newly inducted member have made the group seem. There are some drawbacks. A few you may have heard a few you may not. As this is all new to me I will share the drawbacks with you.
- The sore spots on the underside of your body. Do not make me explain this any further, let's just say I will be getting a gel seat cover, or a gallon of icy hot. (note to self: invent a bike with a Lazy Boy seat.) This is where the padded shorts would be handy.
- The helmet. Do you really need a helmet? YES! I was told, even after explaining that I am a child raised in the 80's in Lehi and we didn't need a helmet then, we surely don't need one now. I mean cars were made of metal then, and plastic now. Not so...Everyone wears a helmet and they do not complain that it really messes up their "Lehi hair". It does, helmets and a really big hair do not go together, that said, I think most people biking out there aren't really original Lehi people.
- Commuter bike! What the crap is a commuter bike? I said the same thing as my riding partner was leaving me in the dust. I do not have a commuter bike, she does. Basically a commuter bike is for people who want to get somewhere really fast and not want to pedal their a** off to do it. I have a "holly hobby" type bike, that is for that mean lady in The Wizard of Oz (you know, she was going to get Dorothy's little dog), girls in the 5th grade, ladies that have no where to go particularly fast and the last category, 30 somethings that are completely out of shape after having 4 kids and do not want to spend a small fortune to get somewhere really fast. My bike is named "midtown" enough said.
- The tingy bell...I will be getting one after riding on main street at 7:30 this morning and telling a kid "I am coming on your left" easy to understand right? No, he moves to the left side of the sidewalk I about ride up his shorts, keep in mind I am an overweight housewife who does not want to slow down, I haven't had this much wind beneath my wings since the movie Beaches in 1989. besides, what is he doing up at this hour, it is summer for crying out loud.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
It was so funny, there were 4 college students 3 guys and a girl and of course they did not have kids or had obviously been around a lot of kids because every little sound he made at least 2 of them would say, "it's ok" or "shush shush shush" I was like...come on this isn't even crying. I really wanted to see if they did babysitting, a babysitter that concerned is totally worth $2.50 an hour. The Prince did really good, he just sat there while they put an electrode hat thing on...see picture and then he had to watch a 3 minute movie. I was a little bummed it wasn't Sex and The City, Brandon would never see that with me and I was hoping this was my chance. No such luck, it was a movie with a blue dot and sometimes the sound of a beep. (pretty boring) and then every 30 seconds or so a duck would come on the screen and quack to get the babies attention. (I think that if there was a duck every 2 minutes or so in sacrament I would stay more focused myself.)
The entire test took from start to finish 10 minutes. The Prince was really good and after he received a 4 year full ride scholarship to BYU because he had so many brain activities (my boy or what?) No, he really only got this picture and a certificate saying thanks BLAH BLAH BLAH. Brandon and I have high hopes for the prince. BYU is not a requirement, but it would make us proud and poor.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
It's official I have a stalker. You will not believe me, but it is Tori Spelling. How do I know? Well guess who just named her baby after me? Yea, I was a little shocked myself to learn that Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott named their sweet baby girl Stella Doreen. I thought it was a nice gesture seeming how I touched her spirit in someway through my blog. Brandon is not so sure and wants me to stop calling them to wish them good luck with little Doreen. (unsuccessful by the way, but an LA County police officer has returned my calls telling me to quite calling them, I found it weird that Tori has a police officer returning her calls.) I am sure that Tori is trying to bring the name Doreen back just like Justin Timberlake has brought sexy back, where was sexy anyway? I may just live in a small town but I really didn't think that sexy had gone anywhere. Regardless Justin brought it back and made a great song doing it.
All in all if you are expecting a baby or know someone that is, you should encourage them to give the name Doreen a try. It has worked great for me. Sure I can not find pencils or a cute glitter sticker set with my name on it but the name Doreen is timeless. Timeless in the sense that I have never (until Tori Spellings baby) met a Doreen younger than me. There is a Doreen at the discount bread store, and a lady that comes to my sno shack that has a Great Aunt named Doreen, but no young Doreen's. WE ARE A DYING BREED. So to Tori I say thanks, thanks for bringing Doreen back and we will try to stay sexy for you to Justin Timberlake.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Keeping your sides in stiches...Doreen
Thursday, June 5, 2008
2-I want to be a stand up comedian when I grow up. I was watching Last Comic Standing last week and I asked Bridger if he thought that I could do that and he looked at me totally serious and said "your not that funny" I looked back at him and said "It's time for bed"