WARNING GROSS STUFF WRITTEN IN THIS POST...KEEP A THROW UP BOWL CLOSE BY!!
I knew there was a problem when I went through the drive through at the bank and the teller asked if I was going to use the $20 cash back to buy a razor. I am a hairy mess. I am having "hormone" issues (that's what I call gross stuff) and I am blaming it all on having a baby boy. So GOOD NEWS: I made an appointment to have a lip, chin and brow wax, and now I am no longer the bearded lady. Maybe that's why I can't get a date with my husband, he has a "no more facial hair than me" policy and I don't make the cut. Anyway, so back to the waxing thing...I go and get all smoothed over and the girl asks if I may be interested in LASER HAIR REMOVAL on my chin and lip. I am thinking she must think I resemble a billy goat, what with my hairy chin and matching "stach". So I say, "I may be" (yea,when monkeys fly out of my butt) and take the paper. As I am driving home and at every red light feeling my smooth as a baby butt face I am thinking... Maybe I do want/need Laser hair removal, I could feel this silky smooth all the time. I am still thinking about it. I wish my dentist would do laser hair removal or even just waxing while I was all numb from getting my cavities fixed, two ouch things in one appointment...GREAT!!
One bad thing about getting waxed is that now I have no goatee or mustache to "shadow" my acne. ACNE I said. I told you this whole post is gross. I thought that you are supposed to outgrow zits in like the 11th grade. I guess I am now going through "mom puberty", you know it is when you act all crazy and ornery all the time and you have zits and you are lazy and all you want to do is lay around, and if I didn't have morals I would want to "neck" and "heavy pet" with my husband, and if you could text faster than 3 words a minute I would text someone something cool in the text language that I can't even figure out. So one reason that I think I will pass on the laser removal is that I like my acne to be covered up part of the time, and I like to go and as my sister Julie says, "feel pampered" even if that "pampered" is essentially ripping out my lip hair by the root. It is one of the perks having as much facial hair as the bearded lady.
8 comments:
K so if you ever do laser hair removal let me know because I'm actually kinda interested. And as far as the acne thing, just come look at me and I'll make you feel better. Promise.
Okay - I am so glad you posted on my blog so that I can read yours. And also, I just recently saw you and did not notice a bearded lady syndrome, and lastly I am so glad I am the only one not going through mom puberty. I thought I was all alone in this. So comforting to know I am not!
Doreen, only you could be so funny and so educational. Seriously? Mom puberty???
Not real sure how to respond to this post, except to say that I completely disagree with your self-assessment.
I'm glad I'm not the only one having some facial hair issues! I've thought about that lasal hair removal thing and even had a roommate in college who did it when it first came out. I think she got kind of addicted and pretty much removed every hair on her body except from her head!
I'd change banks if I were you!
Get laser, I've had it and it's not that bad...well I got it in "a different" place so your face won't be that bad. Call me, you take a Lortab 7.5 and I will drive and hold your hand...better yet I have connections and can get your whole face numb!!!
ROFL!!!!...seriously...could you be any more hilarious?! How long is mom puberty supposed to last anyway?
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