Irrigation

As you can see by the picture, it is swim season at our house. Join us every Tuesday for the irrigation turn, err I mean swimming in our hillbilly pool. Last year I was pregnant with the Prince and very sick, that combined with the Cryptosporidium outbreak (people with diarrhea going swimming, moms changing their babies diapers by the pool, basically any type of pooh except Winnie the Pooh in the pool area. Super gross, I know.) makes me dry heave at even the thought of swimming in the public pool. But no worries, I am getting better, I can at least talk about people with diarrhea, I just can't talk about moms changing babies diapers by pools, even though I change about 8 a day in my own home. So we haven't gone public swimming for about a year. We have been swimming in our ditch every Tuesday though, and let me tell you, it is a blast. Just like the Public pools we also have rules.

• If you think your drowning CALM DOWN AND STAND UP! the water level is about 2 feet and since none of my children are vertically impaired this is not a problem. The problem is when they are playing and "forget" that they are in the ditch and start "floundering" around and get all freaky and think they are drowning. There is no life guard, unless you count the guy we take the water from and he doesn't give a crap what the kids are doing as long as it is not on his water turn.



• Wear shoes, unlike most public pools where they are all about the no shoes in the pool, I prefer my kids to have their shoes on, it is very embarrassing to explain to insta care that your child has a cut foot because they were chasing a stick down the ditch and cut their foot. It is also fun to take off your shoe and watch it float down to a sibling, this is hard to do if your shoes are in the house. So for the love and the $10 co-pay, wear shoes.



• Wear a swimsuit or not, I don't really care. Again, this is where the public pool and I are different. Wearing a swimsuit at the pool is fun,but at the ditch it is just one more thing for a mom to wash, and I am really not a washing/drying type of mom in the summer. Swimming in your clothes in the ditch is like a "wash" and playing OUTSIDE until you dry is like a "dry", making just 1 less thing for me to do. As you can see in the picture, Oakley is in her swimsuit, and that is because she is in a "mermaid" phase and really thinks that she is a mermaid while she is wearing a swimsuit. Thanks TV show H2o Just add Water!



• Bring your bikes, Bring your dump trucks, just don't bring your littlest pet shops or Polly pockets, they will float away. The public pool frowns on boys bikes IN THE POOL. But not here, this is a bike wash, and a cool refreshing swim all in one. Dump trucks are also allowed, just make sure they get put away so I don't run the darn thing over while backing out of the driveway.



• There is no wait 30 minutes to swim rule. As soon as the water is turned down the ditch it is everyman for himself, just get out there kids. Imagine me in my Drill Sargent Voice..."Move it Move it Move it...", the Drill Sargent voice that I use at home, not the one that I use in the Primary at church, totally different tones.



• If you have diarrhea, feel free to swim...DOWNSTREAM key word here is downstream. I will not be going into more detail on this, it is common sense.



• Do not drink the water! Any questions see the rule above. We are at the bottom end of the irrigation ditch's and you never know, some mother may be changing her babies diaper on a ditch bank UPSTREAM. Totally Gross.



• If it is not Tuesday, WE ARE NOT IRRIGATING! Ask my 7 year old with the hideous scar (didn't want to explain to insta care) from pulling the head gate up his leg while trying to steal water ON A THURSDAY! I told him that is Karma working for ya, it is illegal to steal water, he is just lucky he wasn't shot by the guy who's turn is on Thursday.

So, if you are driving by and see us playing in the ditch, Do Not Call DCFS. They are aware that we still play in the ditch even though the year is not 1984. (Thanks for the call of concern) Feel free to find some cut offs or a string bikini thong (both not allowed at the public pool) and join us.